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Increasing Sexual Desire

Terrance Lile (Uncle Terry)


In almost every relationship there comes a time when the passion seems to fade away, and little hope of recovery is in sight. At Ask Uncle Terry I am often asked, How can we increase the sexual desire in our relationship?

During romance and sex, we rely on every sense our body has to offer. The sense of sight, smell, touch, taste and sound are crucial in every sexual experience. It is almost natural that we heighten these senses when we want to attract a mate. It is these same senses we can use to increase sexual desire and increase communications during sex.

Driven by sight, men are prone to enjoy visual stimulation. Try experimenting with your hair up or down. Purchase some sexy lingerie to give him eye candy. If you don't normally wear thongs, surprise him one night by wearing one and bend over to pick something up. Clothing is only one aspect of sight that will get his blood boiling.

Next time you perform oral sex on your partner, make sure they he can see what you are doing. Take a moment to look up and make eye contact. Make it clear that you want them badly. Feel free to touch yourself while pleasuring them. It is extremely sexy watching your partner masturbate; hence there is nothing to be ashamed of. For this reason alone, you should avoid holding back.

Smell is also a subtle category that people usually overlook. As we all know, it is vital to bathe and smell good. No one wants to get a whiff of something awful during sex. The wrong scent can break the mood instantly, but the right smell can make someone go wild. Girls wear perfume and guys wear cologne to attract others. Be careful not to apply too much prosthetic scent, otherwise people will think you sprayed yourself with the bathroom air freshener.

One of the most important senses during intercourse is the sense of touch. Knowing the right buttons to push on your partner is crucial. If you are still exploring each other's bodies, take the time to do so. Give each other a massage with some sensual oils. See how long you can go without their love package. Tease them a little with an occasional grin. Don't give your man what he wants right away. If sex is an in-and-out operation everyone loses.

Women and men have erogenous zones that need attention. These sensitive parts range from the obvious genitalia to the not so obvious fingertips. Experiment with different parts on their body. Work your way down from the ears to the toes. Our entire body needs attention.

More people need to talk dirty. It is a common belief that talking dirty can be repulsive or demeaning but this couldn't be further from the truth. We feed off each other aurally just as much as we do orally. Imagine watching television without the sound; boring isn't it? Resurrect your sex life with loud moans as if you were having phone sex.

If you haven't implemented foods during sex, you are missing out. Whipped cream, hot fudge (not too hot) and cherries are pleasant sexual desserts waiting to happen. This is a great way to get your sense of taste jumping for joy. Be creative with fruits and flavored toppings. Just make sure nothing has expired.

When you are out of the bedroom, surprise each other with a sporadic grab on the rear end. This alone will surely bring the excitement back. During dinner at a nice restaurant, try whispering naughty things in each other's ears. Often couples fall into a terrible mindset of lovemaking as being nothing more than routine business. With these tips in mind, there is still hope to bring back that sexual desire. Good luck!

Writer Terrance Lile brings you and Uncle Terry's Sexual Advice Forum, a highly acclaimed and rapidly growing adult sexual education site. This informative and well designed website has lots of information for the enjoyment of great sex, safe sex, relationships and dating. Uncle Terry is an advocate of sexual abstinence until in a long-term committed relationship. Visit Uncle Terry at


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